Monday, November 30, 2009

Nobody can climb

When we went to Florida, I had just a few expectations, because traveling with three "young men" can be full of unexpected and challenging possibilities; or, being a mom with a bunch of kids who won't listen to one thing I say can make for an enormously complicated experience. Let me break it down; there are the logistical aspects of traveling, as in, I can't lose one or I'll be in trouble. Then, add having no idea where I'm going, luckily each of them at various times have memorized a map of Pinellas county and surrounding areas, so they, in one actual act of unity know I'm going the wrong way.
I lament complaining about going on vacation, eating amazing food and having the opportunity to hang out with my family, but... I've watched as things begin to break down for people when they are away from home. One of the most entertaining for me is the breakfast dance. It's when there are dozens of people who are trying to hunt and gather their food in the cozy home like kitchen area of the hotel attempt to ignore each other and try their best not to touch or bump into one another as they reach for that last cup of do it yourself waffle batter. Free food without anything but a time limit can be a telling indicator, of what; gluttony, abandon, self control. The possibilities and motivations are endless, all of what makes a trip both, well a trip and a half.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I expect to find him

My mom has been drunk for 40 years. I wish I could put that more delicately, tiptoe around the harsh reality, but that's it in a nutshell.
Needless to say, I was pretty young when it started, and had to become responsible; for everything. That repercussion has lasted my lifetime. In addition to realizing that drinking was the least of her problems, her behavior has now upended a well planned and expensive get together. The thing of it is though she is not going, she'll still be there, we'll talk about her, be aggravated, feel sad, get mad again and she will remain like a pall over the entire experience.
So, I have to shepherd three surly teens, fit them into a narrow metal tube, and then a compact rental car.
I could be staying home with my In-laws, who mostly just ignore mine and my children's existence, so I am going to have a better time, but yet again, at what price.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Taking what they're giving

Yesterday, Gus needed the car in order to drive his new lady friend around, so Eamon graciously, well not actually, it was more begrudgingly, took the bus and was late for work. I offered to come pick him up at the end of the day and on the way decided to stop at the new Marc's to get some necessities. Unbeknownst to me, it was the grand opening, which is like telling a certain population of people that Dale Earnhardt is coming back to make an in store appearance. So, we went in, and it was difficult to maneuver but not as bad as one might imagine; until, I saw a library customer and he asked me if I was "working at this one now?" As in, had I changed store locations. And I said, "You know me from the library, not here." Which he was realizing simultaneously. But, that's not the point, the focus of this is ,that he saw me as someone who might work at a deep discount store and equated my job with that one. I have truly made it, I have had such an enormous effect on people with my mad research skillz that they don't know if they're shopping for new and exciting things or learning them.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Breaking my mind

As I was blathering on about our Thanksgiving plans with my family, my Mom was falling on her face; literally. She fractured a bunch of bones; cheek, sinus, nose. Not a pretty picture. The claim is she fell out of bed, but the bed happens to need a step stool to get into, and the stool was hit on the way down. Nocturnally, my mother has issues, she wanders, gets up and does things she has no recollection of the next day.
There have been events, this is the third or fourth, but for some, there is no connection, though they have been lucky to have these signs that she needs to be in a different setting, one where she can be monitored and managed by someone other than my father.
On the phone last night with my dad, I could truly hear the degree and weight of the situation, but from across the country, I could only sit and listen on the phone while my father tried to reason with someone who was not anyone he knew, yet has been married to for almost sixty years.

Monday, November 16, 2009

And some trepidation

Next week the fellas and I will be traveling to the sunshine state for Thanksgiving. Eamon is not joining us, as he would rather not leave the dreary, damp and let's throw in dank.
I am actually really looking forward to this; for one, I'm not cooking which stands alone as making it worthwhile. Then we add that my entire family will be together, sans the old man, and we have a potentially happy reunion.
These last few weeks have been a chaotic mess. I do however remind myself that 7 weeks ago, I was about to go under the knife and was completely unsure of the outcome. The knee is fine, if only I could get past the nerve damage in my arm from the crutches, then I could actually expect a lovely holiday weekend.
I now fully understand how people with chronic pain can walk around hating everything and everybody. You could have thrown any one of my favorites at me and I wouldn't even flinch, there is nothing of much interest beyond finding the right position to hold still and get a little relief. Even when you know there is going to be an end to it eventually, it's a complicated battle between the rational and the frenzied part of the mind that is convinced it's going to be a constant, and nothing less.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

If I was broke

Jack started practices for the swim team this week, and luckily for him I have no life, I can be available to drive him to one of two pools four nights a week; because, there is no aquatic center at his high school, yet they still have a team. I've coerced Gus into driving him a few times so far but that can only last so long.
I understand that they assume people will car pool, or there are plenty of kids on the team that can drive, but neither he nor Gus have ever taken the initiative to find some group to go along with or even ask if there is an alternative.
I've been doing this parenting thing for twenty years now, on some levels it's better than ever, and in other ways, I'm just done, I've sat through so many concerts, awards ceremonies, football games, swim meets, conferences, informational meetings, that I'm convinced it's just another ruse to keep us busy lest we rebel and not boost.
Then I ask myself, what better things do I have to do with my time than devote myself to my children, and I have to say, there isn't a lot, and that's mostly because when I had children I gave everything else up, but now, I've kind of forgotten why.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Going down now

The levy is broken. Not a physical one mind you, but the one that would have cost people living in my town, a dollar more a day to keep busing, and extracurricular activities; along with maintaining the integrity of a highly rated school system. Alas, a little more than half of the population thought better and nixed it.
This is the third time for us. We moved out of Lakewood because the schools were failing miserably, then In Litchfield they had to close Jack's school because of lack of funds, so I'm starting to feel as if we might have something to do with the trend.
I understand that people don't want to pay for dumb whiny kids and their educational needs, I sure don't want to give any more, especially to my own. Regardless, it seems naive and not very forward thinking to let a good thing die, especially because it took so much to establish it in the first place.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

You can stand

Coming from a woman with a foam dinosaur on her head, Eamon was told that his costume was bad luck. He was "the umbrella man" from the JFK assassination, which is one step of effort more than a hobo. She also showed a lot of disdain for the get up in a more dismissive way, mostly I assume because it seems subversive, though the majority of people think there is a conspiracy related to the assassination, it's not party material, others rolled their eyes or just laughed when they asked him what he was.
We were discussing it this morning, thinking we had really slept in big time though we had forgotten to turn back the clocks; and I said that it was strange that an adult with a big foam thing on her head, would feel compelled to judge another one for their choice. Specifically, it's retarded for adults to dress up anyway, what exactly is the criteria for an acceptable costume? Apparently for a group of librarians, it has to be store bought; and I will point out, there were four witches, the female default costume equivalent to hobo.