I expect to find him

My mom has been drunk for 40 years. I wish I could put that more delicately, tiptoe around the harsh reality, but that's it in a nutshell.
Needless to say, I was pretty young when it started, and had to become responsible; for everything. That repercussion has lasted my lifetime. In addition to realizing that drinking was the least of her problems, her behavior has now upended a well planned and expensive get together. The thing of it is though she is not going, she'll still be there, we'll talk about her, be aggravated, feel sad, get mad again and she will remain like a pall over the entire experience.
So, I have to shepherd three surly teens, fit them into a narrow metal tube, and then a compact rental car.
I could be staying home with my In-laws, who mostly just ignore mine and my children's existence, so I am going to have a better time, but yet again, at what price.