Saturday, February 28, 2009

Until it went all the way

For around nine months I kept in touch with a patron regarding a book he was waiting for. Sometimes, as we all know, people get fixated, and the library is one giant clearinghouse of preoccupation and or OCD central.
So with my need to keep track of this title and his to read it, eventually, it did come. I was thrilled to tell him and he was equally happy to come in and read it as it was a reference book.
I've not met this guy, I'm guessing he's around eighty or more, but he had the gumption to leave me a dove chocolate rose for my efforts.
My co-workers, as is their want, had to make comment on my gift. There was the question; was it sweet sweet or creepy sweet? Meaning of course, did it come from a stalker or just a nice person. Once they knew it was the latter the sub question was is he cute, why yes, in a golden ager kind of way, at least by his voice.
It's as if even as adults their has to be a slight to remind me of my place, which is of course, right here.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

It's a movement

When I went to CSU there was a point at which my boyfriend and I found a restaurant that had all the elements we could have asked for; it was within walking distance of school, it was inexpensive, and the food was really tasty. Ticket to Tokyo was located in the Old Arcade,which in itself was a glorious place to hang out, so adding a good meal to that was just epic.
I hadn't been there for years, and so 18 years ago, I went with Jake when he was in a stroller. We had just gotten back from Japan, so I did a little showing off with my mad language skillz, as the staff there had always been friendly and we had a relationship of sorts.
Today, on the way home from an appointment on the east side, I asked Jake if he wanted to go to one of my favorite places, though it has moved and I would probably not be able to park, maybe he wanted to run in and get us something for lunch. Indeed he did, so I pulled up near by and he went in with my bank card.
When he came out he looked sheepish and I figured someone or something strange had crossed his path. He told me that they hadn't taken credit cards and so because he didn't know that and had ordered the meal, they told him to pay next time he came in.
Jake was so shaken by their trust and friendliness, he was truly in a state of shock, which to me, represented what he has been short on; the formidable "awe".

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The road of life

I went to some training today on updating our public website. There was a lot I didn't know about the process, some I did and other stuff I just totally spaced out during.
Which brings me to; the way in which I have always learned things and why it has been both advantageous and to my detriment contained in nice little tandem package, namely my brain.
Going back to school for a masters degree would create a huge avenue of choices, opportunities and financial gains for me. However, because for so many years I had this warped sense of school being for learning and not a vocational pursuit, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Now that I am not quite such an asshole, I realize it would have been, and potentially still is a smart choice for anyone who wants to make a living and perhaps expand one's horizons; except, I can't hold a train of thought let alone retain anything beyond water.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Beginning to feel the heat

And another; yes and here is another physical therapy story for the record books.
This week, Herr Bill upped the anti regarding my progress and started to have me do some pretty challenging weight bearing and stretching exercises.
The last thing he demonstrated for me was a walking lunge. I told him it looked like the walk that Madness did in their video for one step beyond, (it's about 54 seconds in). He said he didn't know who that was, so I sang, "Our house in the middle of our street". and then he did know.
So, after he was done, it was my turn and I began to do this across the room, albeit not very well, but with all the gumption I could muster, because after all it is like being in 7th grade gym class all over again and I'm the lone fat girl amongst the fabulous elite Shaker heights androids.
After awhile I looked over to see if he was going to let me stop because I was going to lose consciousness, and, he was on the phone. I caught his eye, he told the person to hold on and then said to me, "Oh you should have stopped that a while ago.
When I gingerly got into the car and turned it on, Our House was playing on my crap ass Satellite radio just to add a little salt to the gaping open sores that used to be my legs.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

That's not my name

Last night at work I was sitting at my desk trying to ignore everyone in order to get a job done, which is something I don't tend to do, ignore people that is; and I heard a whistle like someone might do when calling their dog. After a few seconds, I happened to look up and saw a guy motioning for me to come over as he whistled again. I was like fuck it I am so out of here; when they start acting like that is a normal way to get my attention, I'm done.
So, I said to him, from the desk which was a distance of about thirty feet, again something I rarely do; "are you whistling at me?"
His response; "Yes"
Me; "That's not an appropriate way to try and get one's attention."
Him; "I thought that would be better than yelling, as this is a library and all."
And all is right.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

On the wayward side

Stay with me on this one;
As I've said, I've been attending physical therapy sessions and am getting a lot out of the experience.
Last week, providentially, Jake had an appointment with his counselor around the same time as my PT, so he came with me, which never happens, usually if he has to be there it's at the same place I was but hours later.
As we were driving there I was explaining to him how I totally understood the value of therapy in the physical sense; you have to do it while you are healing to maintain your range of motion, and to recover properly, otherwise, you will not be able to return to the quality of life you once had. In addition, if you don't practice, or do these things outside of the parameters of the office, you will not actually get any better, you will never be able to flex or stretch the way you once could if you don't maintain a regime.
As I was blathering on, I had the moment, where it all came together in, dare I say, yet another epiphany; physical therapy is no different from behavioral. If you retain the same patterns of behavior that have limited your ability to be healthy, then the other pathways, in your brain in this case, remain unused and less flexible and welcome to any change. So, in essence, move it or lose it takes on a whole new meaning.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

All in my mind

Eamon screamed, "your dog shit right in the doorway!" And then slammed the door as he came in from dropping Jack and Jake off at their respective activities.
He and I had been going since six in the morning and now he had just returned from the 50 mile an hour winds and pelting rain to, not one of the little one's, but courtesy of Stella the monster eater.
She's been on a kick that I have yet to come to terms with; when we started collecting rescue dogs, the deal was that we just put food in the bowl all day and they can eat at their leisure. For years, they knew it was there so grazing was the norm. For the last few months Stella has been cleaning out the bowls and because there are five people living at the house, and the easiest job to feel accomplished by, is the one where food gets shoveled out for the dogs, well, it appears that she's been consuming about five pounds of food every day.
And on that note;
The president of the peanut company linked to a nationwide salmonella outbreak served on (until last week), an industry advisory board that helps the U.S. Department of Agriculture set quality standards for peanuts. His appointment came, twice from the Bush administration.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Every line

You know how I know people are lying, because I was the champion of deception. Mostly, I managed to succeed at nothing more than perpetuating bad situations; never the less, I didn't seem to learn from any of that and continued for much of my youth to feel a compulsion to just be full of malarkey.
So, now, as the world explodes with insincerity and artifice I am trying to explore why it has become so apperent to me that most everything we have lived with as a standard, or acceptable truth was not.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Is it down

Ah Facebook, something I need to revisit; what can I say but, really what more can you hope for when networking online, it goes nowhere but the marketing master's pants and provides us with the illusion of fulfilling relationships and perhaps that is enough.I am being harsh, I know that people, myself included really like this venue, but here is what Ithink I know.
As we age, our lives take on a different focus, for most of us it's children, family, work the usual trappings of adult life. When given the opportunity to feel young and vital, we take it with gusto, but I say, to what end?
There is the reconnection to people we haven't talked to in twenty years, and the ability to see what they look like now, and all of that is cool, but where do we go from here, we get to ignore people and exclude them from our circle.
High school much.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Lights going out

Yesterday I attended my first of twelve Physical Therapy sessions. I messed up my knee a few weeks ago, and because I am no spring chicken, there are consequences for walking wrong. First and foremost, there are a lot of balls in the room, it has a bit of the romper and that connotes playful, but by the looks on the faces of the other clients who were there before me, it's anything but.
My therapist Bill, liked my "PT" humor, so we were good, but then he started to bend my leg and I no longer gave a fuck about what he thought of me, I just wanted to kick him, but it wouldn't be a hard kick, because;"my resistance is weak" and I'm "not flexible". I did actually leave there feeling better with a list of exercises, and strangely enough, a new motto of sorts. I asked Bill at what point do I stop doing something; like standing, exercising, stretching; and he said. "Stop when it hurts."