Sunday, April 27, 2014

Them that don't know him won't like him

Jacob has let me know in no uncertain terms, that what he and his brothers do at this point, is pretty much none of my business.
I countered with;  I’m made aware of what they do when they need something from me, especially money.   That might not have been the best response.  Though it may be true, I really do need to back off and let them get on with it.
In the meantime, Eamon and I watched , Möbius  well I watched it and then insisted he do the same.  The movie is illustrative of what a movie should be, but  for the over the top scenes of intimacy.  I found it strange that in a number of the reviews I read, the sex scenes were mentioned as being tasteful and intense.  Maybe it’s me, but I just thought they were silly and in those moments, the film  lost it’s momentum.  Something I’m very familiar with of late.

Monday, April 21, 2014

I'm looking from the outside

There is something about Easter that brings out the worst in me.  In theory, it should be a holiday , not unlike Passover, that marks Spring, the rebirth, the beginning, a clean start of sorts.  Yet, for some reason, I have a tendency to feel sour about this one.
It may be because when Eamon and I were separated years ago, it was the first official holiday he had the children, and I was left to celebrate my alone time, moping around. Though that was the way I chose  to spend it, the day had a powerful effect on me regarding what my life was really about at that time.
Jacob and Jack were here with us yesterday,  Gus is nearing graduation, so he was unable to come into town.  It was a beautiful day, made even more so by a visit to the Poor Clare’s (whom I originally called the Sad Clare's) Chapel, one of the most peaceful and beautiful places I’ve ever been.  Most of that, I think is because it is run by the Sisters.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

The only way to fix it

It’s been awhile since I’ve had the inclination to put some things down.  The first is that I’ve changed the name of the blog.  Various reasons for this choice, the first being, the disappointed emails I get from people hoping  I am a teen mom, and that there would be pictures.
The second, is that my good friend Charvez, suggested it, and that’s enough for me.
In the meantime, I did acquire a new dog, and that has been an interesting challenge.  Partly, because I've joined the ranks of the hipster pit-bull  contingent.
She’s a doll, well trained, energetic, but not too.  And she already spent time at Doggy Day Care and did exceptionally well, though they don’t let her type of dog interact with others.  I have not yet encountered another dog on our walks, and that’s where my concern resides.  But, as with anything we will muscle through.  Literally.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Never miss a beat

My children, and I are hypercritical.  Often times, we don’t even realize we’re  being that way because it is so much a part of our, for lack of a better word, infrastructure.
My parents were here for a few days, as they were invited to moderate and participate in a panel at a local Social Work conference.  Mind you, my mom is in full Dementia, and Alzheimer’s mode .  Yet, because there was an invitation, they came from Southern California, to freezing and blizzard conditions, for a two hour event.
Regarding the critical aspect of our personalities.  Even with my Mom’s status, which is at this point, not remembering from minute to minute, and getting pretty angry if we try to redirect her, which I would love to attribute to the disease, but that’s been there forever and is only exacerbated by her memory loss, even with this as her current status, she does not miss a beat when it comes to someone eating, speaking quietly, or a physical flaw or insecurity.  So, what I know with that in mind, is that it is truly a brain chemistry component.  Maybe with our history, or the fear of being slaughtered in our homes, or because of some jacked up alert mode that came with a genetic mutation for a general sense of alertness, I don’t know, and sure, it’s just another one of my cockamamie theories, but it’s so apparent that our brains detect infinitesimal  shifts of any sort, that being aware of it is equally representative.