Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Nobody knows you

As tomorrow is my birthday, the obligatory annual sum up is due. Well, not really because any day before a couple of weeks ago is a blur, so this will be gloriously brief. It's been a challenging year.
A few stand outs; the cat that has survived, starvation, when animals attack, and some of the harshest winters on record, is skating on the lethes. She is hunkered down in the foreclosed house next door's yard. Each time I've gone out to check her, she appears not to be breathing but then her tail twitches. This is Eamon's cat, his love; so her being near the end at this time, is a little cruel, thanks universe.
Tomorrow is his last day of work. Yesterday, I asked him if he believes in God and if he did, what was his take on our current.
Being a man who came from a beyond ultra religious background, that was a loaded question, but why not, he could always just shrug. He didn't though he said that he felt as if there were forces.
My response was, did those forces want him to leave his job because there was more, or was it just to mess with us. Then, we just started to laugh, because neither of feel as if there is guidance in these waters, just lots of breakers.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Bringing me a surprise

And then to top it off, the Doctor put blue stitches in the middle of my face. Ha!
I didn't know that until we took the bandage off the next day and then it was like, why? Were they out of clear or white, was there a run on the colorless stitching stuff, or was there a discount on primary colors.
I got me a little perspective while looking at pictures of people with their faces sewn up, but it' s still been a really hard few weeks anyway you slice it!
As everything in life right now is a little disjointed, so shall the writing be.
I'm not trying to start anything new, or scat my way into groovy format, it's just that all roads lead to forced transition and I'm not one to do well in the face of compulsory events.
I spent a week in California with my entire family sans my husband. We spent a great deal of time driving, trying to find each other, and or eating. I complained a lot, and I regret that my approach to so much of life is to find the problems and dwell there. Time to look for some new digs.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Stay in Motion

Picture if you will, a bus coming into a station. Now, there is a man, he has been riding this bus for a long time, as far back as he can remember. But, now, at the station, he has to get off, it's the end of the line and though he didn't do anything to bring this upon himself, or ask for much from the driver, he has to decamp.
Once inside the station, he sits down to wait. Other riders make some calls, find and make alternate plans. Some might just go outside and start walking. Not this guy. He's angry, he's going to stay there and stew in it, blame the company, the driver, even the dog. He is so paralyzed in his bitterness that he can't manage to emerge from the chrysalis even though it's of his own making.
Then, there's the gal sitting at the information booth. She sees all of this taking place, but everything that comes out of her mouth is erroneous. The maps and brochures she hands him are outdated and antiquated at best. She sits there helpless in the face of his confusion, and realizes, she is stuck in the same spot, only, she has an excuse and, it's pretty flimsy.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

When your winter comes

Standing at the reference desk yesterday, a customer felt compelled to tell me the entire story of Oedipus in such a way as if it had just happened and she heard it on the news on her way to the library.
It was almost like rattling of a shopping list; and then he killed his dad, and then married his mom and then went to the cheese store.
I love when you first hear about something. For some of us, it's got to be shared and in it's solipsistic way, it's as if the matter had never existed until it became known to you.
Therein lies the difference; when you know that it's always been out there, and when you don't.
I know that the world is a place of cruel and negative challenges. Yet, everyday I wake up, greet the morning and hope for the best, In other words, I expect that because I feel the way I do, and hope for things to be okay, I'm perhaps alone in that perspective even though I assume it's shared.

Saturday, June 04, 2011

This boat is sinking

On today's menu the selections are one from Column A or one from Column B; either continue to pay for health insurance or keep your house.
I'm going on a limb here and picking B for the win.
Not being dramatic, there is absolutely no safety net for the middle class. The maximum income for a family of 4 is $1,092 to qualify for Medicaid or you can pay $ 1,200.00 dollars a month for COBRA. That's it, and trust me if there was something I would have found it.
Knowing that there are millions of others like us, who have been trying to fathom how they are going to manage, and what they can sell, downsize, eliminate and plead for to make it work. What is that it? Everything.