Friday, December 04, 2015

I was unrecognizable to myself

The relationship I have had with my mom has been an uneasy one.  But, over the last few years, as she has slipped into Alzheimer’s I’ve just had to reconcile those feelings, and let that all go.
Yesterday, she called me back on my sister’s phone, whom I’d just been talking to.  I knew it was going to be her, as when I was hanging up from Beth, I heard my mom say, “who was that on the phone?”  As, there are still glimpses into her neurosis, and exaggerated invasive nature,  I kind of figured she was going to call to check if she was being told the truth, but by the time she called she had forgotten her  original motivation and just wanted to know who it was she was on the phone with.
I let her know it was me, she asked when I was coming home, to Philadelphia, and then when I asked her who she was with, she kind of reset  for a moment.
She is in the present or in the past, those places are her only reality, and when those moments get muddled, I picture my mom, her eyes scanning the horizon to find something to hold on to.