Monday, July 30, 2007

Just one key

Writers block; I don't think so. Nothing interesting to say; maybe. But I really don't know, because I've never dealt with a blockage. There have been many a bottleneck, but not an actual work stoppage replete with inflatable rat to keep away the scabs. I don't want to ever write just because I'm compelled to get words out, and I have an aversion to trite or ordinary, yet not the pedestrian. Anyway, it's something to put some thought to to at least be aware; so if I use the word healing or funky know, without reservation that it's over.
Jack wants to teach my dad how to play Axis and Allies. So, I got a call at work from my friend whom Gus is Manny to. She said that Gus doesn't think it would be a good idea "because Papa may have flashbacks." My dad was in the Korean war, as a social worker/medic, stationed in Germany.

Friday, July 27, 2007

If I'd known

The Franklin institute in Philadelphia is host to the King Tut exhibit that we had the privilege of viewing last week. When I was in 7th grade, my parents took sabbaticals and we traveled in a vw camper around the country and truly looked the part of people living in a bus. So, at one point in this adventure, we were in Chicago where the above mentioned traveling tour was at the museum of science and industry. At 3am, we went and waited in a line to buy tickets which where actually for a viewing time of 5pm, and as I remember it, that made for a long day. Anyway, it really was an exciting event and most of the collection was present, as opposed to this time. There was plenty of smoke and mirrors, dimmed lights, curtains, dramatic music. Yet, most of the exhibit was composed of general Egyptian artifacts and then at the end in the last gallery after you passed through into the land of the dead, there were around 15 cases of the actual Tutankhamen collection and the most best part was the holographic sarcophagus in place of the real thing. Eamon summed it up, as he always does, "what a rip" and indeed it was, but we still bought $70 worth of crap in the gift shop.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

And now I understand

"I'm giving it back"; I hear a lot of moms say that when they have to take something off their kids like a book or a DVD to let circulation check it out.
Over the last six months or so, I've been experiencing about a weeks worth of full out, balls,(if I had them), to the wall no holds barred, mood swings and hormonal havoc every month. I get so far away that I can't even talk myself out of it, and I can talk the talk. So, after much hand wringing and conversation, I went to see my doctor. My unfounded concern was that he would suggest hormone therapy and or an anti-depressant even, to take forever. So, I was tempted not to seek any kind of help and just try a big vitamin B push and tons of soy. Well that didn't work, so there I was sitting on the paper, explaining as best I could what the problem was. I know he and the rest of the world are impatient, no pun intended so I was brief and succinct, and so was he, there is a drug that I can take for just that week that will help with serotonin and hormone regulation. That simple; and I'm into day two, with the following side effects; I am not going deep. That's it, the flurry of brain activity and avenues to various thoughts, doubts, anxieties, fears and I'm guessing pleasures, are all blocked off for some sort of event. So for one week, I am not fucked up, so basically, I'm not me.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Our carnival life forever

Where to begin; perhaps with the observation on the beach, that everyone, or most everyone has to be compound ready with rolling cart for stuff. The compound, is the area, or perimeter set up for family that effectively blocks any view of the beach by people sitting or laying behind the select group. Kind of, like rich people who buy up all of the coastal property and make it impossible to see that there is actually an ocean, lake, lagoon, pond or any such body of water on the other side of their house or fence. What the fuck, people can't carry shit anymore! I mean everyone had a cart and sure I had a bunch of crap to bring, all the accoutrement that must go with any beach visit, yet having to have a ritual for everything begins to rub. There is more, of course, we were gone for a week and in one of those days, I started with a power walk on the shore, mid day found us in Philly seeing the Tutmiester, later on the Hershey the capital of chocolate americana style, then last, was Breezewood for a night of unsettled rest as Jack begged his dad to cease and desist all snoring.

Friday, July 13, 2007

She wasn't history

What do bullies do when they're cornered? they make themselves seem misunderstood. In the big and small picture this garners the same feelings for me. Loss.
The 678th million Harry Potter movie slays the Bush regime, Rupert Murdoch, Homeland security, yet uses a woman to represent most of the evil incarnate. So I guess that makes it a nice attempt, but poor execution. It also makes for the third movie that I've seen in a weeks time that addresses the nature of politics in the US and Britain, as in Fascist state, with media mouthpiece in place to spread the love.
We are leaving for our summer sojourn. I'll make attempt to post from the land of vacation, too much bad food and breezy outfits. Perhaps, I'll learn some things, and of course, share them much to all y' alls chagrin.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Dark and red

Transform or die hard trying. Yes, it was a blockbuster weekend and boy are my arms tired. If Bruce Willis fought Megatron who would win; that's easy Demi's ex rocked the house and Optimus Prime merely explained everything in a deep and knowing voice. But there is one theme I 'd like to discuss that threads through both of these stories or fables if you will, and makes for a dynamic that kind of reflects the nature of our current military dictatorship. In both of these movies, the military, police, and government are inept, and one everyman with a buddy or course, shakes it off and does the job right, steers the organized and armed minions back to the arena and kicks, alien, psycho, ocd, and or foreign accented ass. In general, what this is saying about the system is that it really can't be trusted, and in the end, individuals will come up with the solutions. But, the wait is getting a little long for that to actually happen in this realm so I'm hoping Billy Jack has a little fight left.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Nothing that I would not try

A coda if you will, but I will digress for one moment and say that Diane Arbus could have made a career with a series of photographs just from my job.
Back to the point of the matter; duplicitous behavior has become something that I would like to abstain from. I tried to muster a picture of someone I knew who did not talk about others in a way that would either be construed as treacherous or at the least, sharing too much information about personal issues. No such individual exists. So, this is what I aspire to; that I will not say or do anything that I wouldn't say or do in front of the person being discussed. It's probably not possible. How many times have I walked away from a situation with friend, spouse, child, parent, and picked up the phone to tell someone about the asshole I've just been dealing with who also happens to be my ________.
But, why not try. I know that I don't like overhearing, or being told that I'm the subject of negative or judgemental denunciations yet I participate in the behavior. Maybe there is a reason for venting, and there are moments when relationships become intolerable, yet I can't help feeling as if something is being betrayed whether it be on the receiving or sending end of a comment. Banzai!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Be on my side

What can I say about Kalahari waterpark, besides for, I made a big splash. It really was an amazing experience, once you get past the din, roar and constant high pitched screaming, and that was just Jack as he and I flew down one of the many water slides. They are all enclosed, so for me that was a difficult letting go, because I really could not tell if it was going to be a horror show or perhaps a mild and calming experience. Waterparks, are the equivalent to antidepressants for Midwestern children. They are popping up in states that have long and dreadful winters, and make it possible to spend tons of money instead of going to the Y and just swimming for a few hours. The key to these resorts is the constant state of chaos, noise and not knowing which door or elevator will get you back to the place you intended. One of the shining moments of our day trip, was me falling out of an inner tube on the "Lazy River"it hearkened back to my childhood days of smoking pot and listening to Neil Young.

Monday, July 02, 2007

If they were me

Apparently, there is a way to build a party around a cake, well not literally building, but to make a party because your husband bought a cake that would feed at least 20. So, we did. Eamon started calling people Saturday night, as is the normal thing to do when the festivities will be on Sunday, yes. So, most everyone he called came on over and partook of spreads, tampenade, dips, chips, BBQ and the odd bit of tortellini in pesto made with my basil and the cow I milked for the Parmesan cheese, okay no cow, but I did pull off the rest. And the quote for my birthday weekend, besides for "it's my birthday weekend", of course, goes a little something like this; Eamon: "Whatever your mom asks you to do today, you do without hesitation."
Jack: (to Gus), "Unless she asks us to kill someone."