Friday, July 17, 2015

Motherfucker I'll be back from the dead soon

Anxiety has been a topic of conversation much of the week.  A number of friends and colleagues, mostly talking about their children, or when referring to themselves, it’s about an event or series thereof.
Me, I’m going on vacation.  One week a year to leave all my troubles behind, feel the sand under my feet , listen to, and watch the waves.
In theory that all works, expect if you have a son in a recovery program,   one going off grid in Mexico to one of the more  remote areas, and another whose going to watch the dog that has become the best friend you always wished for. And, a soon to be daughter in law whose been left behind to sort out  what the first son listed, has left in his wake.
The last time Eamon was willing to take this trip, the second night we were there, we got a call from Gus, letting us know the sump pump wasn’t working, the alarm for it was going off,  and their were relentless storms  forecast to continue for days.
I guess, it is not too much of an overreaction, or pre-reaction to the possibilities.
But, I’m going to try my darnedest to have a good time, and not to expect the worse.

Thursday, July 09, 2015

I'm searching for my right mind

So, I was at Tommy’s last week, with my kids,  best friend, and her daughter.
Before we got seated, I went in to use the facilities, and passed a table where an  old family friend was sitting, except there is more to that story, it’s a  complicated veiled and somewhat lurid part of my past, well, not mine, but my Mother’s
I don’t really know the details, all I do know is that as a child I felt as if I  was a pawn, just another grievance for me  to throw on the pile of chaos and confusion.
On one level, don’t care, not interested, and knowing that life is full of hypocrisy and challenges to what we want to be, and who we actually are, I don’t really have much to say in the face of betrayal.  But, what I do have is a true understanding of what it is to be flawed and why sometimes it ends up being almost  all we are.