I'm searching for my right mind

So, I was at Tommy’s last week, with my kids,  best friend, and her daughter.
Before we got seated, I went in to use the facilities, and passed a table where an  old family friend was sitting, except there is more to that story, it’s a  complicated veiled and somewhat lurid part of my past, well, not mine, but my Mother’s. 
I don’t really know the details, all I do know is that as a child I felt as if I  was a pawn, just another grievance for me  to throw on the pile of chaos and confusion.
On one level, don’t care, not interested, and knowing that life is full of hypocrisy and challenges to what we want to be, and who we actually are, I don’t really have much to say in the face of betrayal.  But, what I do have is a true understanding of what it is to be flawed and why sometimes it ends up being almost  all we are.