Sunday, September 30, 2012

A handful of this

There is little room for wonder these days, except by choice, as in I’m not going to look that up, or find that person on facebook ,or research this on the Internet. Otherwise, all the information we could ever want, or not need at all, is at our fingertips.
In so many ways that is a glorious thing, beyond amazing, and so very helpful, but in others, it’s easy to get completely lost in nothing and or obsessed with finding out.
I have actually started giving myself an internal visual message when I feel that I should let something just resonate, try to remember where I’d seen an actor before rather then go look it up, let my brain do what it’s meant to, follow natural pathways, not reach for a tool.
I’m using a road sign.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Out on the briny

The Master. I could honestly just say that and it would be enough.
But of course I will not end it there.
It’s a pretty darn good movie. The simple explanation to why that is, is everything. The elements separated, are distinct; extraordinary acting, beautiful sets by Jack Fisk, a master at designing history in the everyday. And, lastly, the madness and insanity of being human, dealing with war, extremes, sex, money, power, love and boredom.
Michael Foucault a French contemporary philosopher, or more of a sociologist examining societal norms contends that,” in modern society a sense of normality is achieved through the suppression and exclusion of the abnormal. “
Where to begin with that concept as accurate as it is, at what point does the measurement begin; with the people who drink to excess every weekend, or the religion that is drawn from a trillion year old alien universe, or the psychiatrist using Rorschach test to determine, well anything! It’s all pathological from some perspective.
I ‘ve been having intermittent  moments of recollection since seeing it the other day. Eamon, Jack and I went together. Some of the scenes were difficult, as it is rated R, but the upside of managing the scenes with naked women, is that they weren’t all model thin, perfect bodied. There were lots of flaws to behold, in many, many wonderful ways.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Come on now

I work with a bunch of very confused people in leadership positions. Missteps and blunders have become so de rigueur that it doesn’t even begin to phase me any more, and of course that is unacceptable.
I wonder though, do we pick at administrators, watch every move to find the flaws and then dwell on their shortcomings, or are they truly an incompetent lot that have no business running the joint.
A few years ago when Gus was a senior, they had an marching band event called Senior Night, for the parents of band members to come out and accompany their children out on the football field for a song.
I had just had surgery and Eamon was not going, so Gus ended up walking out with his best friend’s parents. Of course that killed me.
Last night was Jack’s event. I went so far as not to work because I might have be late if I did.
Eamon arrived moments before we were lined up, and the absolute joy on Jack’s face made for, a you guessed it, bittersweet reckoning. So glad to be there for him, and on the other hand, missed it for the other one. I guess, there are always going to be checks and balances, credits and debits, but whose counting.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Once you buy the gimmick

One of Eamon's best friends from college, has struggled with drugs, job loss, divorce and criminal activity over the years.
Eamon decided to end his contact with him about ten years go, but every once in awhile I check to court dockets to see if there is anything new going on.
We thought we saw him in a convertible the other day, and I think that was a relief to both of us. That he had perhaps escaped the hold of his demons , and an extremely addictive and expensive drug habit.
Well, we hadn't. In an odd series of events at work, I was searching for a real estate listing for a customer and in the corner of the page, it said, “Mugshot of the day”, and the picture happened to be one in the same.
He had been arrested a few days before for robbing a convenient store in the evening and the next morning a gas station.
I was torn about sharing the news with my husband, both he and the boys admired this guys zest, and joie de vivre,.  It’s a hard lesson, and I’m not even sure for whom.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

On yonder green hill

The experience with my parent’s visit this time, had it not been so heartbreaking, would be Lynchian at best, Keystone cops at worst.
But first, I will begin with a story about a baby in a cradle.
My dad and I were outside watching the birds, communing with nature and such, when a crow flew by. He told me he really hated crows and I asked why. “Well, because of the one I found looking down on you in your cradle when you were a baby.”
How old am I! How many years have I lived this life, thinking something was not quite right, ever.
Is it all because of the harbinger, was it a sign, or just a bird that had flown down the chimney, found the room in which I was sleeping, and sat poised looking at me for who knows how long, until my Father walked in, saw it, opened the window, and shooed it away.
As the memory has faded for my parents, and my sister too young to remember the details, though she does the event, I’m left to wonder, mostly how, something of this weight and magnitude, at least from how I see it, was overlooked.  And then, I think about the last week spent with the star and co- and it is clear.

Sunday, September 09, 2012

It was nothing at all

Over the last week, I’ve gotten Pleurisy, been visiting with my parents, went to a wedding with more guns then a shotgun wedding for octuplets, gotten one day away from a job interview only to be told the position had been rescinded, and lastly, celebrated one week sober.
Now that, is a week.
To begin, the pleurisy is an annual event, my mom had an Alzheimer tinged episode that tells me we are in for a pretty ugly few years, but different in nature then her usual difficulties, though it’s still has the flavor of her extreme level self awareness, she is now a pretty confused women.
My sister in law is a police detective, and she’s the one that got married, so it does make sense that everyone seemed to be packing, but with the amount of alcohol being consumed, I might have wanted to invest in some family Kevlar.
The job was a transfer to another branch in the library system, which would have probably made for a happier and more enjoyable work experience, alas it was not meant to be, and it was handled so poorly by the powers that be, that I am now determined to decamp.
And as for the sobriety, I decided no matter that I am not much of drinker, doing it around my kids is the antithesis of what, and who I am determined to be, so why not just not to do it at all.