Tell me one thing

Eamon gave me a rare glimpse into the nature of the male mind. Not, as something was taking place for him, but so that I could better understand how and why men almost always say no first, and then amend that.
Well there are like two exceptions to the automatic no, but that's and entirely different story.

He told me that it's because they can't manage more than one thing at a time. and that they become inflexible when too much is thrown at them at once .
He kind of described it for men as an inverted triangle, with the narrow part in the foreground, and for women more like a flow chart or a checkerboard of events all taking place as once with some juggling and lion taming thrown in, while texting.

When you were here before

Speaking of changing your brain..
Being in the moment, I think that phrase has taken on a meaning of part of you being there and the other part is thinking of additional ways to either document, save, keep, download, share and or post what you are experiencing.
Rarely, is it enough now to just have it, to merely be where you are.
That, has to add an entire new dimension to our thought patterns.
The evolutionary process, (besides for the future generations thumbs being longer ,as Tom Robbins predicted,) will be enhanced for the managing of data. Each event, or experience is now a spectrum of possibilities beyond just living it, and there are various ways to either document or keep some piece of everything.
Even in death, there is the video montage of a person's life, three minutes =87 years, with a soundtrack.

We can start

Everything is what it is, there is not much more I can say about trying to sway the world outside of my head.
I've been listening to Change Your Brain Change Your Life, it's actually not an audio book but one of the seminars after the book was published.
Though I know what the author, Dr. Amen looks like, he sounds just like Dennis Miller so that's whom I picture talking.
Regardless of the image I am insistent on, the stuff that matters is a very basic paradigm and that is, to get a scan of the brain to determine what the underlying issues of behavior are.
It makes a lot of sense.
I'm not taking it at face value on a total level, but what I do like is that his approach is balanced, as in nutrition, supplements, meditation, exercise and then medication for those who really need it.
I wish that I could have taken advantage of his programs when Jake was little, if only it had existed and we could have managed, and accepted so much more than we were able with the limited information and or alternative avenues.
Meanwhile, I listen to his explanations of behavior and it's basis and I realize, that everything is what it is, either outside or in.

h e double L

I'm going to try and relay this in such a way that the value of the event isn't lost on the insignificance of the action. Let's see if it works shall we!
I've been working a lot, as in one day off a week a lot. So, I have very small expectations right now and when those are demolished and crushed, I begin to feel it may be time for change.
I worked a split shift on Tuesday and when I got home after working in the morning, I went outside to sit and eat lunch and look at the newly bloomed fiery red sunflower in the backyard.
When I sat down, I looked at where it should have been but could not see anything, and assumed I was just at a bad angle. I finished chowin down and walked over to look and it actually was gone.
The back yard is full of weeds, not crazy high and abandoned, foreclosed, moved into a box under a bridge looking ,but pretty bad, due mostly to the many days of rain of late. As I was looking at the hole from where the flower had been, inside a bed of what were obviously not flowers, I asked Eamon if he thought Griffin had pulled it out? He walked over, paused and said he had, because "he thought it was a weed."

And I really don't know

When you feel like you are a part of an elite club because you come early to liking a band, it becomes a mixed bag of treachery, on their part, for getting popular, and of a strange emotional entanglement of betrayal, that what spoke to you was somehow stolen by others.
There's not much reason to it. I have to be touching on something for many of us. Whether that something is a deep meaningful lyric or insinuation, no matter. There is something for each of us and branded on a time when it mattered.
Later it will either evoke the quick pushing of a button to eliminate memories of place, time or event, or turning it up to recapture the memory and then feel dumb.

Small amounts

Many times, when the fellas were having a fight, being brutal, no holding back on taunts and accusations, I told them to try and remember that they would have these events and subsequently the relationships to look back on and remember longer than any other in their lives.
What I didn't put together so well was that they would also be keeping track of all that Eamon and I did, except for that they would only be able to come up with the two or three really lousy and horrible memories and even less often one's that were okay and tiny percentage of wonderful.
People tend to take away the negative, it's a collective aspect of how most of us synthesize events. I won't fault them on how they manage the past. I can't come up with much nostalgia for my childhood. I had just hoped theirs would be hunky dory.

If you come my way

Because I can't remember anything I do for the most part, I had planted sunflower seeds in the front garden and when they started to grow, I couldn't identify them so I haphazardly asked Eamon to pull them up, midway realized what they were, and immediately told him to stop. One ended up being a little lopsided, but the other is absolutely the largest thing I could ever imagine growing.

Up until a few days ago, it was at least fourteen feet high. I marveled at it everyday, but now, because the flower is so heavy, it's become somewhat droopy and worn down.

A metaphor perhaps, of life, autumn's arrival, so many possibilities.
But really only one matters, and that is, it isn't something I had to put much effort into, left alone it became magnificent.