There's a solution

Young folk think they know everything.  And, they actually do.  It's just that as they age, all that they know will be modified due to their life experiences. 
As far as I'm concerned that was a revelation that has made so much of the conflict of explaining and dissemination of information moot.
I did know, both intuitively and rationally, what the world was like.  Unfortunately, I still didn't have the capabilities, or inclination to change course when I might have, or  reevaluate conditions or relationships  because, only with maturity could I have the perspective that would have enhanced these experiences.  It's all just another one of those space time continuum issues that could so easily have been solved with a minimal amount of foresight.
I knew that the business model was king, that looks and size were queen and that aging meant invisibility. I just really didn't know how the weight of all of those variables would become so burdensome that they would flatten me, and ultimately require a tremendous amount of fortitude and ingenuity just to manage the basics.

Nobody knows you

Decay, if only I could actually get to discuss it today.
Google has decided to update it's services, unfortunately , they didn't do a very good job of it, or I'm blaming the tools for my lack of skills.
They will never be accused of letting things slide, getting thick around the middle or starting to fall apart.
Now that I can actually endeavour to discuss a topic, it  kind of is analogis of the entire picture.
We have to get a new roof and "siding".  And there's been a lot of that going on in the neighborhood due to some bad storms and the damage incurred due to hail and wind.
Watching the game between the contractor and the insurance guy negotiating what will be paid for, and what won't, which side of the house isn't covered, and how the roof of our little shed is.  The wording based on state insurance laws vs. federal requirements, and arcane rules of sight lines.  Then, they love to hear themselves explain it to us clodpates, how it all works out.  And it does, somehow the exact amount of the check is what the contractor is charging.
Then, not five minutes after they left,  Jake came over,  saw the check on the desk and asked his Dad to buy him a  motorcycle.

I'm taking the corners

Watching and listening to the buzz for talented, exciting and meaningful, singers, actors, writers, music, movies or books is something I have mixed feelings about, but witnessing the same process for mediocre and unoriginal dreck, does only one thing, and that has me settling back and waiting to order hundreds of copies for the customers.
Fifty Shades of Grey has been on the radar for a few months. I actually thought the inevitable would happen sooner, perhaps the fuss about The Help echoed long enough to keep this one down, but not for long.
Romance + Twilight - Vampires = This book. Nothing less, nothing more, start counting.

We are young

We're all acting a little squirrely right now. Even Gus, whom I skyped with the other night, was on edge and illusive, but with a Spanish accent, so it didn't seem as bad as what's going on on a local level.
Jake having moved back to his apartment and roommates , has been short with me, Jack Henry, in full on I'm a teenager and the rest of the world needs to serve me mode. Eamon, probably tiring of the role of shuttle driver and all around errand middle aged man, is somewhat unbearable.
And, it all comes back to me. Not because I want it to, but that anything that poses a problem, challenge or adverse experience, is my fault.
It sort of is. mostly due to my own naivete about taking on all that responsibility and not doling it out, or requiring my family to maintain their own. Their own what? Everything I guess. I tried to cushion it for all of us but as that stuffing slowly begins to diminish, so do the resources and back up plans to reckon with all that comes our way.

In my interior

Getting naked in a public setting has never been something I have been comfortable with. But, even with that, my sister suggested we go to a Korean spa while I was in California, and being the informed person I am, I knew the downside of that was going to be me, and only me, nothing but the me.
Part of that experience was like "that dream" , whether it be no clothes, or not being able to get to work or school on time, or trying to take the final when you missed all of the classes, in any event, I kept waiting to walk out the wrong door, have it lock behind me and leave me having to wear a garbage can lid on the bus ride back to Mar Vista.
And, I would not have missed it for the world. I didn't exactly strut, that would have been too jiggly, but I did try and not feel that every step revealed more of me, or left me more vulnerable. The spa experience left me feeling solidly cleansed.
We did not opt for anything but the baths, some of them herbal and medicinal, a steam room, (one place I needn't have worried about letting it all hang out), sauna, and, last, the jade room with a warm floor that somehow allayed any and all thoughts of being satisfied by only doing this once.

Why do I let myself worry

My Brother in-law is also my friend. Or I guess it would be better to say that before he met my sister he was, and now he's family.
Without fail, I mention something of this nature whenever I meet friends of his or introduce him to mine. I'm compelled to bring that up upon initial meetings, and I'm ready for my intervention.
After a week with my parents, who for the most part, were consummate hosts, I've learned a thing or two about a thing or two. One of those, or both actually is that we are the perfect storm of OCD, ADD, Neurosis and anxiety disorders. All together that's ocdaddnad.
I would love to delight in the combination plate I've been handed, and there are times I do.
It is my hope and desire to appreciate what, and where I come from, if only I could figure that out.