This is my one lucky prize

Gus it 22 today.  He’s in California, but according to my mom, he is actually visiting them in Bradley Beach New Jersey.  His presence at my parent’s apartment is confusing her ,  it’s not actually him, just another person in the environment that has put her even more off balance.
When I was in Wildwood, on the beach, alone,  Jacob and Gus  fighting in the motel room, I looked around at the families sitting together, some laughing, some fighting, but, they were together, being in one place .
There’s not a lot of that going on in my world right now.  In my very loose plans for a family, I had hoped for a more cohesive group, it’s far more fluid then that, practically molten.

Out of the shadows

Probably a few of  the most obvious changes  in life that I attribute to aging, are  focus, and, how things are wearing out.
I guess simply put, when we are young we have loads of everything;  energy, flexibility, muscle mass, skin tone, the stuff that cushions our bones.  What I’m  now all too  aware of is, that like many things, these are not limitless commodities or resources.  They will no longer be replenished.
When I was at the shore, Charvez and I each got a “slice”, something she, who is a clean eater, and I a former heavyweight, rarely do.  We also decided to walk and eat while on the boardwalk.
With my requisite  folded piece of pizza in hand, I was about to share an absurdly entertaining story, when a seagull grazed the top of my head,  brushed past my friend and snagged my pizza.  I screamed after it, to both make the crowd that had gasped at the peculation, and the bird aware, “ I was done anyway.”

And I knew it

Going to the shore.

Fracture the narrative

My nephew who is British, is currently in Australia, working and traveling.  He lived here for a couple of years, when his mother moved back to the area to be near her family, so I got to know he and his brother who has remained here.
He called me from Australia the other night.  I was probably  low on the list, but due to the time,  as it was a little beyond the middle of the night, and  being made aware that I was up by online activity, we ended up having a great  conversation about  travel, and the ups and downs of being far from home, having the time of your life, and sometimes being really sad.
The world is a big place, until it isn’t.