Everything that is

Sometimes the want is so overwhelming that I can’t even see past it for a second. I can talk myself around the moment, find something to distract me, but it’s always lurking, making itself known, especially when I’m not my usual vigilant self.
Being that it is part of the human condition, the desire for everything, peace, love, money, sex, power, things, ends up being the struggle for a priority that does not include having to acquire, or think about getting, collecting or adding to.
I would like to find that place, the settled section of the building, where people sit, don’t wait, don’t think about what’s next, just stay, linger and enjoy the moment without wondering what’s coming next.

Not basic

I’m wondering if one of the legacies that I’ve handed down to my sons is the automatic search for flaws.
I’ve noticed that especially with Jake, when talking about something, or looking at something new, he will often find that one thing that is missing, or notice a crack or imperfection immediately.
The variable is in not knowing if everyone does this, or if it’s just us. I know that animals evaluate for the weakness or condition that sets something apart, so on that level, I could see how it would be normal, however, if it’s what we are always looking for, then nothing can ever be quite right.

Where the image breaks down

So I bought a new car, and that’s not that interesting, but, that I had to give it back for a few days in order for them to install something, and they left me with a convertible sports car worth about $75,000,to drive in the meantime, is.
And, here’s why.
I don’t want to drive around in a stupid ostentatious car.
Now I have to dress up, put lipstick and big sunglasses on. Seriously I do. I have to wear heels that click on the floor and get my nails done.
I cannot live up to that for long, it’s exhausting.
Friends whom I spoke to were delighted for me, what an adventure, how exciting.
Nope.

Figured it out

I have been on vacation with Jacob, Gus, Jack and Jacob’s girlfriend for the last week.
We went to a birthday party for a friend’s daughter in Montclair NJ and then to the Wildwoods for a few nights.
There is no event that stands out more than the short afternoon of sunshine on the last day at the beach. That time practically eclipses all of the cold, rain and cloudy weather that we experienced for the majority of the trip.
The fellows and I played a game of touch football that resulted in me not being able to use my left leg properly, which brings me to this, yet again.