As the rain flows

I've been on the verge of tears, crying or thinking about crying for the last two weeks. A lot more happened at Hershey than rides and chocolate fun.
I have been trying to find the kernel, if there is one, or the basis for some of the characteristics that I have managed, but really don't want anymore. They may have served a purpose at some juncture in my life, but as most of us do, I have come to a point where I'm ready to shed what I can and move out of this place; and I don't mean physically.
I was helped with a meditative process to find some of the origins for the sorts of things that stick with us even when we have no use for them. It's not an easy task for either the guide or the person trying to overcome a lifetime of unease, it's comfortable and hard to let go of what has ridden along with you for most of the trip. But, at some point it has to be done. You may not unload all of it, and some may sneak back into the darker corners, but identifying and separating what works and what doesn't is a monumental start to the glories of midlife.