Sunday, April 27, 2008

Wish you gone

How we manage our lives is a matter of coping rather than actual thought out and planned experience. People might believe that they are in charge of their own experience, but the only thing they actually have any say over is whether they get up out of bed or not, the rest is chance and luck. Does that mean I'm not giving credit to hard work and perseverance? Not really, it's more a matter of letting go of the concepts of control and purposefulness.
I kicked Jake out Friday, because he's been impossible. And I mean that in the most literal sense. He refused to go to school for two weeks without a big production and when I wasn't willing to co-star, he just didn't go. The deal with him returning from California, was that he would attend. Then Thursday he said to me something about how if I didn't drive him he would be expelled. It was 11 in the morning, and he was making me responsible for his issues. The Epiphany was a long time coming, however come it did and realizing that I'm to blame for everything regardless of my presence or determination otherwise; was the clincher.


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