Thursday, August 23, 2012

Too big to ignore

Pretty much every day, I exercise with Tracy Anderson, well not actually with her, but to her DVD. It is more for strength training than in hopes of cosmetic results, and it gives me a sense of well being, which is most welcome. This gal is a celebrity trainer, and she is, to say the least petite.
On this last occasion of working out, I was kind of in that trance place where you’re there but not really, and I noticed the void, the area around her rather, then her, as in the space, as opposed to the person.
I started thinking about the ramifications of how little area this women, and most women want to take up in the world. How small we want to be, and how though, we want, and manage, to offer so much of ourselves, we strive to do so in a tiny little package. The discord of those two desires, is confounding. Is it about existence, or not being?
There are, a deeper and complex set of challenges to examine;  feeling as though we don't have the right to take up more space, seems silly, but so does starving in order to be a certain size. The desire to remain childlike in an adult world, in a sense, to be punished for growing to be a women, to embrace the physical changes that make up what it is to be an adult female. The cultural relationship to body acceptance, especially from a Western perspective.
All this and more from a lost moment of thought, perhaps it’s just my way of avoiding the task at hand.


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