Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Only a motion away

As the world turns, so does the clock that keeps buzzing in my ears, or it could be tinnitus.
I guess I decided at some point to be very up front and open about turning 50, I’m owning it. Or actually I bought it on credit and I’ll be paying for it from now on, and after I die, the kids will have to take it on, and maybe even theirs, and so on.
When I started this project, I promised myself that I would be honest, that I would not hide behind the layers of humor or intellectualism and that I would be real. I have often, but have not always managed that.
Today, there is no holding back. My friends, Eamon, his family, the boys, they all brought me more love than I really could ever have imagined. It was like a Sammy Hagar weekend wrapped in a chalupa and deep fried, it was that good.
And then, there was last night/this morning, where that creeping, find something to be sad about virus got the best of me. Not to be too specific, the bottom line is that it’s an old hurt, one that is frankly so legitimate, it kind of sums up why I might actually know that sadness so intimately. I got overlooked and forgotten once again by the ones that should have cared, but don’t. Regardless of all that is well with the world, realizing why the foundation is so shaky, is probably the best most painful gift ever.


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