Wednesday, June 06, 2012

When the dirt is off

Each and every day, I wake up with hope and dread.  It depends on what or how much I had to eat the night before, and this I only  learned just a while ago in trying to find the right balance of food, exercise and mind games to keep myself to the center of sane.
Jacob has told me that he's been warned about the first drink that might, and probably will be taken in his journey towards recovery.  That the rush is so intense, it's more of a challenge to stop after that then when he had the experience that initiated this process.  It's the sugar. Or better said, insulin kicks in like there's no tomorrow, and the craving, that absolute need is as real and vital as breathing.  But, with that, would a milkshake provide the same relief ?  Would anything sweet satisfy that desire, long enough for the thirst to subside
I hope he never has to run that gauntlet.  But I'll try to help him be ready in case it does.


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