Friday, August 05, 2011

Every remedy for ignorance and sorrow

The perfect storm of shit hit my fan yesterday. It didn't cause a flood of emotion or a torrent of tears, but I did have to leave my house in order not to say anything more to alienate my family or neighbors, who happened over for the first time ever on the day I really needed to be left alone.
It's been building, the frustration with CSU, my job's level of ridiculous, certain adult children not pulling their weight, another litany of inadequacies everyone around me seems to be sporting.
I know it's mostly me and my own disappointment regarding the spectrum that runs from success to basic organizational skills. I am trying to veer away from the regret card and work towards just being here now , and doing my best with that. But why, why do I always have to power through everything? I'm bitter, sad and very angry. That's not all that I am, but for now that's the better part.


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