Friday, July 08, 2011

Soon forgotten

After having gone to a party with some sort of reference to the 4th of July, I ended up feeling a little out of sorts. Mostly because I've known more than half of the people there for thirty years, but have either never spoken to or have shared only a few minutes with most of them.
There are annual or semi annual friends and acquaintances sure, but when I thought about how I'd taken to a musical interest, and went to shows relentlessly for years, as in three a week sometimes more, yet rarely or never connected with most of the people I saw, it kind of made me, sad.
Now, that 's a feeling I must get a lot of comfort from, or I wouldn't visit with it so often, but I don't know how else to experience the emotion. I guess my thoughts are there's a commonality that is obviously shared, but apparently not beyond the tunes. My expectations may be too high here and I may be expecting some silly connectedness , but it is what it is, recognizing that the fear is still there and the coping is still substance, just leaves me lachrymose .


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