And the darkness inside you

Eamon lost his job on Monday.
He's been at CSU for almost 17 years; watched as the only department that has made a profit for the university, was decimated and subsequently eliminated.
The separation letter said that his job was abolished.
On Monday the president of the university was given a hundred thousand dollar bonus and it is also the day that our two sons, Jake and Gus were about to start and take advantage of free tuition for staff members and their families, oh the irony.
I keep kind of remembering every few minutes. We'll be in the middle of an okay moment and then it will pop up and, I guess I would describe it as putting me in my place.
I think the forces have finally crushed me, left me in the murk of reality, that there is no silver lining for having worked hard, been loyal and devoted to something more universal, and larger than ourselves.
I need to admit that I had believed in the magic of purpose, that there would be a reward for our efforts and stupid years of drudgery in the workplace, and both knowing that, and having to tell our kids that we, at least for now, were abandoning all hope, is probably the most demoralized and dark I have never imagined .