Saturday, November 06, 2010

Closer to my home

Recently, with the shift on the domestic front due to Gus being away, and the new found adulthood of Jake, it becomes apparent that I have to make some internal changes in order to keep up. For example, I have to not assume that the things that Gus is facing and how he is managing his experiences, are the same way I did. That, the mistakes he makes have to be his own, and have to happen because he is not merely an extension of Eamon and I.
For one who always thought that my ego was of minimal import, I've become hyper aware that that was a ruse. I want what's best for my children, but a big part of that is so that I can feel successful and as if I've achieved my goal of doing better than the previous generation. It's a valuable concern to come to terms with, but also an unfortunate reality check regarding the nature of purpose and motivation.


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