Miles above

The attributes of my new phone are, sleeker, slimmer, sexier. What the fuck, women are so fucked in this culture that trying to even discuss the problems with these words being associated with the phone in your pocket is useless, but, I'll try anyway.


I had a few moments this morning until my ton of mulch gets delivered and all hell breaks loose with me trying to shovel it all into place before Eamon comes home and yells at me for getting it, but that's another story. Anyway, I opened the sadly lacking Plain Dealer and the Verizon advertisement described what basically a women would be if she possessed this phone. The problem I have with that, above all, is that we can't be all of those things and shovel a ton of dirt too.