All that I own

Behavior is an odd thing to try and discern. And apparently so much of it is biological rather then conscious that it is almost impossible to determine anything outside of what becomes habit and or routine.
I was a chunky kid, never huge, just kind of in between, and then in my teens it got more complicated. There were puberty and sexuality to contend with, and weight for me as for so many became a barrier to the harshness of the world as I saw it. I did however know that even though I did have times of emotional eating, that I couldn't eat the same amount as the "regular" people around me and maintain my weight.
Finding out, many years later that there was so much more involved in the evolution of my size than I could possibly have any say regarding or control over, vindicates; yet there is no victory but Pyrrhic in that I still am what I am and went through and continue to contend with the battle of being allowed to exist in a culture that denies validity or comfort for those who don't fit.