Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dream comfort memory

The negative voice in my head has been so very loud of late. Stuck on a groove of, too much debt, too much food, too much stuff to do.
It usually commences early in the morning, I often get up just to distract myself from the litany.
But, yesterday I didn't I just wondered out loud what the fucking problem was. It's not as if I'm not doing my best or at least a reasonable job most of the time. I kind of talked myself down from blame that is unfounded, anger that's pointless and decided some sense needed to be made of the whole process.
When I got home from work last night, I spoke to Eamon about it, he wondered, as it was happening a lot in the morning, if it was perhaps low blood sugar. Sure, that could be part of the problem, but really the struggle is greater and it needs to be addressed. I already gave the vox a moniker; a few years ago, an old co-worker from hell fit the bill, but now, I have to expand that to the parts of me that enable the slurry of doubt, blame and helplessness to have a venue, or a soap box on which to stand. I'll call it; Kong!


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