The world was on fire

Perhaps all of that meaning of life stuff, all that finding a purpose of existence is really about just learning or garnering a way to live with yourself, and in doing so, not making it miserable for you or the people around you.


I've rarely sought the true nature of why and wherefore. There was the occasional drunken or stoned incoherent seemingly, at the time transcendental search, but otherwise, I'm okay with just hating most everything and usually everybody, and figuring it would sort itself out.

Well it hasn't and I'm bored with my self loathing hyper-critical evaluatory and lost nature.. I'm ready for peace and prosperity all rolled into a neater, less wrinkled package.

I talked a lot about my Mom with two friends when I was at Chautauqua. I'm often at a loss and blame her for many of my issues, but until her last visit one of them was not having an attention deficit, but now I've added that to the litany of complaints and so now I'll wait and see where it gets me.