Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A credit

Bringing the year to a close is something I've been looking forward to, not that a demarcation is going to make things better in January, but a break to enable me to define when things started to really suck, got a little better and or where fine, is always helpful for the likes of the space, time impaired.
For a few years, I've been obsessing about something. I've used behavior modification, a cattle prod and various other techniques to bring myself out of the loop; all to no avail. I'd like to say that I don't have any control and it's out of my hands, but I won't. I've chosen to let important parts of my life fall asunder so that I can remain in this state.
I think that there's a part of us that sticks close to some initial injury and tries to repeat it as frequently as possible, especially under optimum circumstances, which in my case have made for the perfect storm.
So, if I had to say make some sort of resolution or promise for the new year, it would be to count my lucky stars, but not too carefully.


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