Monday, April 06, 2009

I've got no reason

Seventh grade is where it really began to break down. My inability to navigate the social topographical maps become so very apparent.I had been invited to a birthday party, it was just a few days into the school year, I was coming from another district so consequently most of the kids were new to me but my first years of elementary had been there so I did know a few.
Mindy A. had asked me if I wanted to come to her party, she was in my homeroom so we would be in close proximity for three or more years. I remember going home that day and taking a nap, waking up and getting a phone call from her asking if I was coming. Luckily, there was someone home to drive me, I was late and had no present.
After that, over the course of Junior High Mindy said about ten words to me. I just had not realized the importance that event would hold on my entire experience.
Recently, a similar event occurred, though it was more of a communication issue rather then somnolence, I still feel the outcast yoke weighing hard. I will never really get it, but I still strive to find a balance between wanting to say fuck it all, I'm no good at this, and walking around with a big fake smile plastered on my face.


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