Looks out of place

My Aunt died Tuesday. I had absolutely no relationship with her for the last twenty years, and I now realize that had everything to do with some ancient bullshit that happened between my mom and she, some rivalry that had no place in the present day, but shaded the next generation which prohibited us from having any kind of presence in our cousin's lives.
It's not like we come from a large family, she was the only sibling between both sides, so no we didn't get lost in the mix of a vast group we just believed my Mom when she told has she'd been wronged. But, the problem is my mom always feels like she's been wronged. Even though she manipulates many situations and antagonizes and baits people to act in ways they never would in other circumstances. Unfortunately, I'm realizing this now, or at least paying attention to it, so perhaps it won't happen again.
I tried to get a plane to be at her funeral but the prices made it impossible, my friend, who lives in the same town, offered to attend in my stead, which gives me hope that I haven't made the same blunders in my world of friends and family or, that she had nothing better to do than bring coffee cake to complete strangers.