If they were me

I've been having an affair. It's been with Eamon's surprise party, but it's still been full of deceit manipulation and lies, and I had to stay in bed all day yesterday and most of today to recover. Bridget is my favorite girl next door, she by far has the most personality and the least fake boobs. I watched back to back episodes yesterday afternoon inbetwixt sleeping and talking to Eamon about how I had pulled the wool over his eyes, flummoxed him and made up all sorts of shit to keep him in the dark. I couldn't even blog about it and therefore I lied to all of my readers as well. The party was well attended with all sorts of people from Eamon's multiple lives including old tormentors-slash-best friends, and people who came from far away to regale the man turning 50. The cards were requisite old man funny and one included his application to the AARP. I have two full pans of Rigatoni left over which will feed us into Easter. I have a mentality that drives me to make and buy too much to overcompensate for my small ass, I guess that's not the worst thing in the world; overcompensation I mean.