Searching in the sun

I have an 18 year old son. Letting that one sink in for awhile; it's pretty enormous in a multitude of ways. As of yesterday, I have three teenage sons at home, and boy are my arms tired. We are doing a lot of reflecting, on births, experiences surrounding them and of course, on the outcome. It's a nice way to kind of sum up the last almost half of my life. Eamon and I have been talking about some of the "mistakes" we've made, moves that we really didn't think about and lamenting bad financial decisions. It's all fine and good as long as we don't continue the behaviors, the impulsive way we've done some things that have brought us to where we are today. And where is that, but lovely Cleveland. We ended up back here as a couple twice and for me it is an additional two times. So, four times I returned to this area after having lived away. And, now, I'm just not getting it; what could have possibly drawn me here other than something subterranean and not to obvious because on that level, the one that smacks me in the face almost everyday there is no answer.