I slept sweetly unpretending

I've been waiting for it my entire life, as long as I can remember I've been expecting something big to happen. Have we all, is this the human condition, one of the things that connects us, that we all have in common but don't necessarily articulate?
Whatever, what the fuck am I waiting for, because at this point I don't think it's going to be happening. I've resigned myself to middle age, to not mattering to younger people and not being able to join the early birds'; sort of like my life as a heavy woman, I wasn't big enough for the fetishists, but I was never thin enough either. Being invisible doesn't matter as much as it used to, however, finding a happy medium is a tad illusive, in that I'm still going to be waiting for it and I'm going to have to assume it's the end or nothing which becomes the same thing I reckon.