Cruel and beautiful

I don’t know always know if I am being authentic, putting on a personality that is far brighter and livelier than I truly am, or if maybe I am just coming together and not switching between who I think I’m supposed to be, and who I actually am.
Jacob and I had a conversation and this topic came up as something he was working on as well.  It’s hard to articulate the specifics of these thoughts, hard to generate an exact picture of what I’m trying to say, on a very basic level, it’s about pleasing people, wanting to make others comfortable or to feel safe.  But it’s not fair, not to ourselves or others. It’s a  scheme, a nice scheme, but one nonetheless.